The Finger Wag – Athletes using Twitter and Social Media to their Disadvantage

The 2012 Olympic mascots were announced today. Their names are Wenlock and Mandeville.

If the pure sight of these two are not enough to give you nightmares check out their backstory:

The pair are based on a short story by children’s author Michael Morpurgo that tells how they were fashioned from droplets of the steel used to build the Olympic stadium.

Now if that doesn’t sound like it is ripped right out of a JJ Abrams horror movie nothing does.

Let’s see if we can make it any more family friendly…

Tommy: Guys something is wrong!

Black Guy: What’s that Tommy?

Tommy: Olympic mascots have not been freakishly shitty since the 1996 games in Atlanta and the advent of Izzy

The Pink One: MAN! He was gross!

Zordon: Tommy is right, Rangers! I have a feeling Rita Repulsa is up to something

Alpha: AI-YI-I!!!

Rita Repulsa: Magic Wand, make my monster grow!

Power Rangers: It’s MORPHIN TIME!!

Source: London Olympics 2012: Meet Wenlock and Mandeville, drips off the old block

G_WeberGale

(Garrett Weber-Gale)

If stores stopped sending out so many coupons in the mail they could lower all of their prices...simple as that. On 10:33 PM Apr 20th 2010 from HootSuite

Thank the lord for this insightful analysis from Garrett Weber-Gale. Garrett Weber-Gale was on the swim team with Michael Phelps in the 2008 games. He also is apparently one of the foremost experts on coupons and how they affect the GNP.

Apparently, it’s so good it may be time to retire from Olympic Hurdling.

followlolo

(Lolo Jones)

me retire? Possible career change to baseball @LSUtrackandfield Lolo Jones and Walter Henning First Pitches (4/14): http://bit.ly/dhidtq On 11:29 PM Apr 15th 2010 from TweetDeck

How’d she do?  Very well actually.  The video is here: http://bit.ly/dhidtq

In full disclosure, I’ve been in love with Lolo ever since these pictures from the 2008 Olympics were in the New York Times:

Can you blame me?

But the bigger issue is this…

The thought of throwing out a first pitch scares the bejesus out of me.  Despite my moderate athleticism, I throw like a girl.  Well, thanks to Lolo we’ll have to retire that phrase.

Do you have any idea how far a pitching mound is? Fifty-four feet.

You simply can’t win.  If you go up there and throw a lobber, you’re ridiculed.  If you try and smoke it in, you’re hitting the dust.  No matter what.

Mike Golic, professional radio man’s man, has already skipped two pitches in.  (I can’t find any comments about what happened this season in Pittsburgh.)

And the most athletic leader of the free world in recent memory was way off…

But then again, there was this…

A perfect strike amidst a round of boos!  The pressure!  (Also, the owner of the Nationals gets cheered?)

Amazing.  Dig up your favorite abysmal first pitches and send them in.  I’m sure it’s a virtual treasure trove of unintentional comedy.  Just don’t get a video camera, a baseball, and a crowd of thousands anywhere near me.